blög - page 6

  • okay k hole

    friday was a really tough day, and/but then it turned into such a big and broad and full one. i’ve been manic and depressed at once, too tired and vague in the day to do or think anything, too frantic at night to sleep. i tried to organize my mess of thoughts and files and systems, failed, suffered, gave up trying to make any essay plans again coz it was just too hard and the weight of it was pressing me down into a collapsed hole. so went walking in the gloom and rain, walking in the park where the cops were searching the garden beds used by the dealers to bury their stashes. they didn’t look very confident of finding anything. it wasn’t really a raid, no sirens, no theatrical arrests. just stop the van quietly, get out and start scrounging around in the bushes, movements not unlike the dealers.


  • sunday

    when i just can’t bare anything any more, when everything is pressing into that space just behind/above the backs of my eyes and when my face is exhausted from being scoured with pollutants, when i can’t rly breathe properly because the state stuck a wrench in my chest and put a bounty on tightening it, i hunch down in a filthy wet gutter and read sam langer’s untitled book and let the quiet laser or quiet lightning or quiet white noise bolt through my pores.

  • doing fine

    doing fine. yeah leave it with me and ill get back to you.