sorry i missed you

so sorry i missed your visit, i was out wrecking. just got home. fuck it was exhausting. it took ages this time, wrecking all of the lot of the heaped-up flob and blof of it. it was just so unwrecked, so far from being wrecked, i cannot tell you how far from being wrecked it was, how far from wrecking it we felt, we couldnt believe we wd end up wrecking it all. when we started out we couldnt see the light at the end of the tunnel, we thought it would remain unwrecked, at least a bit of it would, and if we left that one bit, it would eventually spread like an infestation and the whole thing would go back to being entirely unwrecked. its so hard to convey that imposing utter unwreckeness that unwrecked things exude when they stand defiantly before you. the unwreckedness can even come to feel like unwreckableness at times, your mind can play tricks on you like that. we had to wreck in stages, we couldnt just wreck all at once, it was far, far too much wrecking for that, we had to wreck bit by bit, taking care, being really vigilant, systematic, patient, avoiding reckless and hybristic shortcuts, taking regular breaks, following all the occupational health and safety regulations wed once been taught and taught to scorn. when you see it from space, it doesnt look like it would all take that much effort, doesnt look like that much ground to cover, but when youre down there in the livid thick of it, it just feels like an vast, even infinite expanse of pigheaded unwreckability that no one could ever wreck. its funny, you know, if youdve told me how much effort wrecking it all would take at the beginning, i wouldnt have even started. starting out you dont realize, but perhaps its for the best as thats also why you dive in, and once youve dived in you just have to keep going, no matter how grim things get, as you know starting over would be worse. and step by step, with a lot of hard honest god-honoring toil on this really-not-that-wrecked-yet earth you gradually make some humble progress, you gradually get there. you do finally make it, and i have to say, i need you to hear this, its just frigging br-eath-tak-ing when you can step back, and look back over what youve achieved, and take stock, and see how you have quietly and simply, through nothing but the application of a few sober, stripped-back principles of cooperation and good old honest hard work, wrecked absolutely every-fucking-thing.